new blog...

elo there... i probably might not be updating this blog so much in the future as I have decided to start afresh with a fresh new blog... i might even delete this account in the future, but for now i will juz leave it for me to have an outlet to vent my pent up frustrations... take care...

SAHM finally...

elo... today marks the first day i become a SAHM... actually i'm still clearing leave till 8 Dec 09, and that will be my official last day... can't wait...it's been a blissful Monday today... Hubby is on leave too... juz spent the day lazing around at home and it felt damn good...

was talking abt it with Hubby earlier and frankly right to this moment, i still dunno whether i've made the right decision... but since the decision has been made, i should juz hold my head up and get on with life as well as i could rite? with the bloody toad still bugging me even until today, i felt that i've definitely done a good thing by making this decision... he's so irritating... can't wait for the 8th to be over so that i can move on and dun have to look back...

on a lighter note, i got my hair done last weekend... went to jb and went to jantzen salon to colour and highlight my hair... was so please with the effect... now planning to rebond my hair soon so that my hair will look silky smooth, juz like all the hair advert u see on tv... haha...

oklah, gtg now... update u again when i can... nitez...

nasty...

elo there,.. i am in the office now... the week has flown by rather quickly and tomorrow is my last day of work... hmmm... feeling feverish this past few days... dun want to fall sick as hari raya haji is juz in a few days...

talking abt hari raya haji, i am kind of not looking fwd to it after the incident that occurred at mak's place last nite... what started of as a quarrel between me and hubby became so blown out of propotion that i started a shouting match with my brother and told off my mum for not understanding me... feel like shit, dun even feel like going home later knowing that i will get the silent treatment from hubby... frankly, i hate myself for not being in control of the situation... why is it that my life is as such? why can't i just have a smooth sailing life? juz when i thot eveything was going fine, something like this happens... i have apologised to everyone but i'm still not feeling good... my brother's msg to me touched me to the core... although i was initially angry and pissed at him for supporting hubby when he didn't even know what is going on... but after getting his apology message, i feel so touched and honoured to have a brother like him...

haiz, sometimes i think that only with me being dead will be the solution to all of this problems... so tired of life at the moment... so uncertain...so hurting...

got to go now... will update ya soon... pray for me that things will improve tonite k?

Tale of hospital stay and work updates...

elo dear... been a long while since my last post yeah??? well... well... been rather busy i should say...

already tendered my resignation and my last day will be coming up pretty soon next week, just b4 raya haji... was admitted to CGH last week for 4 days 3 nights... yeah... my first time being admitted for reasons other than pregnancy... haha... i had been having bad pain on the left side of my lower back... went to see GP and he suspected some kidney infection, and put me on antibiotics... but developed high fever and was referred to A&E @ CGH on 11.11.2009, and i was admitted after some tests... what an experience that was... final diagnosis after CT scan was done was that there was some blockage on my left kidney, and need to be on antibiotics for awhile... my stay in hospital gave me time to ponder about life as a whole, and as you know how fickle minded i am, i started having thots of going back to work instead of being a SAHM... now i really dunno... back at square one again... a part of me wants to be a SAHM, but another part of me wants to be back in the workforce... haiz...

neway, although i'm still on hospitalization leave this week, it didn't stop my mgr from still bugging me about work... from email to sms, i am really pissed... i really think that she does not have any concience... she came to visit me in hospital, but seems more keen to know whether i can complete my tasks b4 i leave or not.... really got no mood to work, and so not looking fwd to going back to work for the final week next week... but on the bright side, at least it's the final week... and after that it will be good riddance to all the irritants in my life... will definitely miss my colleagues though... they are the best i've ever had, and really hope that the bond formed would last a lifetime...

ok lah, got to go now... wanna take my medication and go to bed... gdnitez... see ya....

new lappie...

elo... guess what?? i am blogging from my brand new laptop... haha... yeah!!! Hubby bought me a new laptop... It's a pink HP mini and i lurve it!!! well...well... my old laptop died on me on wed nite, and simply couldn't get it started again... and i definitely can't live without technology even for a day... thus, the new laptop... i am a lucky gerl!

well, well, been thinking a lot this past couple of days and have realised how blessed i am... should be thankful for all i have instead of complaining so much... it's about time...

that's all for now... will update more soon...till then, take carez ya?

luv,
sha

do i know what i want???

elo... just a short entry b4 i go to sleep... have a meeting in office early tmr morning... sucks big time... now there seems to be meetings every now and then... but not achieving much of its objective i must say...

well... well... i have received a letter from the co that i went for interview with last week and my application is not successful... would be lying if i say i am not disappointed... but frankly, i really dunno what i actually want... one meoment i was telling myself, i am not expecting anything out of the interview... i will let nature take its course... if it's meant to be, it's meant to be... but when i received the letter earlier 2day, i feel disappointed... so what is it that i actually want???

if it's meant to be, it's meant to be...

elo... lazing around watching mentalist now... hubby is up to his eyes with work, and busily tapping on his laptop... kiddos have been put to bed, but i can still hear giggles and conversations every now and then... i know that they have not sleep yet, but refuse to scold or check on them... they will drift off to sleep soon enuf... very proud that they have finally decided to sleep in their own bedroom now...

well... well... the reason for this entry is to share a little something... i have an interview tomorrow!!! yeah!!! funny though, i am kind of amused by the whole situation... just when i have decided that i've had enuf of the waiting game and decided on the alternative action plan, i received a call asking me to go down for interview tomorrow... will not reveal to much information here... but it is a position with my former "employer"... which one, u go figure... haha...

neway, this afternoon, Z actually msged me asking me a golden question... she asked whether i am angry with her over something? i simply replied that frankly, i was angry with her but i do not want to talk abt it as i don't want to blow matters out of proportion... she asked me to clarify with her abt the matter, but i simply kept quiet... frankly, i don't know whether to say it out loud or just to keep quiet about it... maybe keeping silent is agood move for now...

oklah, gonna watch a bit of tv and get some reading done... borrowed a couple of books from the library earlier... so gonna indulge in a bit of ME time... take care... see ya soon & hope things go well for me tomorrow ya?